July 11, 2011

Letter Opener of My Dreams

Of all office items I've come across, the letter opener (and those metal pendulum ball things) was one item I used to deem most useless. It's a small dull knife that, most of the time, looks like a sword for a little dwarf knight if there ever was one.

Lately, there seems to be no end to utility bills finding their way to my snail mailbox, and it has come to a point where what used to be a simple task of opening envelopes is now a chore. Some companies are considerate enough not to seal the edges of the envelope flaps so that there's just enough space for my index finger to fit and tear the envelope apart (hooray for mankind!). Most are sealed all the way and by the time I get to its contents it looks like it's been attacked by a wild gorilla (or my toddler). But the worst are the ones that are not only sealed completely, but for some reason are also stapled shut for good measure. Like the billing company wants to make sure the statement doesn't escape! Now, if I only had a letter opener, it would save many bills from being ripped apart, and my fingers from paper cuts and staple punctures. Like this one from COSI TABELLINI Art of Pewter.
Pewter. I love pewter. I love saying "pewter". It's so rustic and old-fashioned. Though I have no use for the magnifying glass except maybe to entertain my daughter with googly eyes and one day teach her to start a fire, the traditional look and feel of this letter opener matches the old-school tradition of snail mail. The only thing better is this luxurious (whoever thought I'd describe a letter opener as luxurious?) Arthur Price letter opener that looks like something Kate Middleton would probably use.  
Modern, sleek, mono-functional, and, with the advent of the internet and email, soon to be extinct. What an extravagant waste of money. The little dwarf would be the talk of the town.

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